


When We're Worlds Apart

by FairyLights101



Series: Matsuhanaiwaoi Week 2017 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9479342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: Seven months and two hundred and fifty kilometers spanned between the face he could see on the video screen and the one he remembered from six hours before launch, flushed with excitement and eager, with traces of sadness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For seijoh 4 week day 1: Long Distance

Takahiro bit his lip and drummed the desk as the black screen shifted to a soft blue, painfully slow. “Issei,” he called, “Hurry up!” 

“I'm coming!” he called back, and Takahiro pressed his thumb to his lips and bit down. His heart fluttered in his chest, uncertain, and shaky breaths left him a little light headed as he waited. The lock screen appeared and he stabbed at the keys and leaned back to nibble at his thumb more. A cabinet clattered shut. Hajime cursed softly, barely audible.  _ So he's nervous too. _ Takahiro wasn't sure if that was a relief or not. 

Fingers settled into his hair and Takahiro flinched, then settled back as he tipped his head back. A lopsided grin and a mop of curly black hair met his gaze. Issei scratched his scalp gently, smile widening. “You waiting isn't going to make this go any quicker.” Takahiro didn't deign him with a response, just stuck his tongue out. Issei grinned, but it was tight at the edges. Takahiro reached up. Issei’s fingers were warm when they laced with his, and he squeezed tight. 

“You okay?” 

Takahiro raised his head, the lie quick to come - it died before he could finish, and after a moment he shook his head. Both of Issei’s long, warm hands settled into his hair, fingers digging in ever so slightly, grounding. Calming. Takahiro drew in a deep breath and exhaled. Issei’s eyes fluttered. “Good job babe.” 

Takahiro stuck his tongue out and pressed further into those hands as Issei rubbed gentle circles into his scalp. “I'm nervous,” he said after a moment. It was disconcerting, how fragile his voice was, but he swallowed hard and brought a hand up to trace the inside of Issei’s wrist. “I know he's safe, but I won't  _ know _ until I see him, get to hear his voice… I know one of the hardest parts is over, but…” 

Issei nodded. “I know what you mean,” he murmured as he ran his thumbs along Takahiro’s temples. He pressed a soft kiss to Takahiro's forehead, to the tip of his nose, and Takahiro smiled softly. He held like that for a moment more before he leaned forward once more and jiggled the mouse, then clicked on the video program. It wasn't one of their computers - NASA didn't take risks when it came to their crew, and so they'd been given a special heavy-duty one with fuck knew how many firewalls and a special connection to a place in the stars. “Hajime!” 

“Takahiro, unless you don't want your cream puffs-” 

“Take your time, glucose pastry!” 

Hajime didn't bother to respond, but Issei sniggered, shaking them both with how he'd slumped over Takahiro. “‘Sugar muffin’, nice one.” 

“Gotta keep it fresh and pretend I'm putting my degrees to good use.” 

Issei swatted him on the thigh and shook his head, but he didn't say anything, just slid off of Takahiro's shoulders and settled into the chair beside him. The door creaked a second later and Hajime slipped in with flour still caked beneath his nails and a smudge of it on his cheek. But he'd pulled on a fresh button down, a flattering electric blue that made his skin glow with warmth and his eyes shine, radiantly green, and tried to look presentable. 

“Hajime, you look like you're planning to go to a board meeting or something,” Takahiro teased. 

His boyfriend just flipped him off as he slid into the other open chair. Issei reached across and took Hajime’s hand, white-knuckled and shaking faintly. The touch made him twitch, and a moment later the tension seeped from his shoulders and a tiny smile flickered to life. “Thanks,” he whispered. Takahiro set his hand over top theirs. Issei squeezed. 

They all turned to the laptop and watched as the minutes ticked down with bated breaths. 

Six o’clock ticked into place. 

A jangle of musical notes tore through the silence and made Takahiro jolt.  **“Tooru is calling…”** appeared on the screen. Thunder filled Takahiro's ears, deafening. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Hajime reached forward and clicked on the pop-up. Clicked  _ ‘accept’ _ . 

The screen filled with a grainy image with a humanoid blob that sharpened rapidly with every heartbeat. Takahiro's fingers trembled as he pressed them to his lips as features became more distinct, then fell into sharp relief as the high quality connection kicked in. Hand-tousled brown hair was everywhere, wild without product to tame it into place. Doe-like brown eyes framed by long lashes blinked. Slender fingers tapped at a high cheekbone, then slid back into his hair as a ragged inhale crackled over the speakers. 

Takahiro pressed his hand over his mouth and choked on a sob as he leaned forward, body trembling violently.  _ “Tooru,” _ he whimpered, and two hands found his body, Issei’s on his knee, Hajime's on his shoulder. 

A radiant smile spread across Tooru’s face as he reached forward, fingers disappearing from sight as he pressed them to the screen.  _ “Hey there, Hiro,” _ he whispered back. Takahiro just clamped his hands to his face and started to bawl, body shaking as relief flooded through him.  _ He's okay. Tooru is okay. _

Seven months and two hundred and fifty kilometers spanned between the face he could see on the video screen and the one he remembered from six hours before launch, flushed with excitement and eager, with traces of sadness. Seven months of hundreds of emails sent in huge data dumps where they were lucky if they got an email a day. Even luckier if they’d gotten a recording of his voice or his face. The live video systems on the ship had malfunctioned, and it had been a long fix, but now it was okay. 

Now Tooru was safe on Mars. Closer to three hundred million kilometers away than two hundred. On a barren planet with a team of eleven and not in their bed. But safe nevertheless. Because with Tooru live in front of him, showing that he really was still currently breathing and thinking and watching, all the irrational anxiety from the last seven months cracked and crumbled away into nothingness and left him aching with comfort. 

Takahiro’s hands dropped a little and a wobbling smile crept up. “I missed you so much.” 

Tooru’s smile softened.  _ “I missed you too, baby,” _ he breathed,  _ “I missed you more than the others - but don’t tell them.” _

“Oi, we’re right here, Shittykawa,” Hajime growled. 

Tooru’s sweet smile turned into the mischievous shit-eating grin Takahiro knew all too well, and he grinned too. He sniffled and wiped his eyes as Issei leaned forward, pressed a kiss to his cheek, and smiled to the screen. “What, you don’t miss waking up to my cold fingers ‘n toes all over you?” 

_ “Definitely not,” _ Tooru giggled as he raked his fingers through his hair.  _ “Just like I don’t miss you dumping hot sauce all over my food when I’m not looking, or Hiro leaving the toilet seat up, or Hajime playing the Godzilla soundtrack every… every time he cleans.” _ His voice crackled, but it wasn’t from the connection. Tooru’s eyes fluttered and his hands tightened. The smile he conjured up was thin, weak. He knew it couldn’t fool them, not after so many years, but he always tried. 

“We miss you too, Tooru,” Hajime said, the first to break the silence that followed. His voice was gruffer, and the hand still curled on Takahiro’s shoulder twitched, seeking strength. He reached over, hand still damp with tears, and took Hajime’s other hand. “We miss you so much,” he added softly. 

It was painfully evident, even after seven months without their fourth. Hajime would hesitate every time  _ Star Wars _ or  _ Alien _ or one of Tooru’s favorite sci-fi movies came on before he would sigh and let it play. Issei would bring home milk bread almost every time he went to their favorite cafe - which also happened to sell Tooru’s most beloved treat. Takahiro would think of something, mundane or funny, and turn to call Tooru to tell him, only to find silence and a cold, empty space. 

“Though not the way you fart in bed,” Issei drawled. 

Tooru squeaked and fluttered his hands in front of the camera.  _ “Mattsun! I do not! That’s so gross!” _

“You so do,” Hajime said, joining the teasing with a grin, “It’s loud too.” 

Tooru groaned and leaned forward to press his forehead to the desk before him. His fingers found his unruly hair, untamable without his favorite gel, hairspray, and straightener.  _ “You guys are so mean,” _ he whined. They all just smirked and leaned into each other, fingers interlacing. 

Takahiro’s chest was warm, no longer tight with the anxiety that had crept in since the launch, all deep thunder that shook him to the bones and bated breaths until they broke through the atmosphere. That had grown with every passing day, especially ones where the data dumps hadn’t gone through. With the touchdown on Mars. He could  _ breathe _ . But he didn’t say anything about it. He just smiled and squeezed his boyfriends’ hands tighter. “How’s Mars?” 

Tooru’s eyes lit up as he grinned flung his arms wide.  _ “It’s so cool! There’s a lot of rocks, and I’m super excited to go out and start collecting samples tomorrow. I wanted to bring some in today, but Mr. Refreshing - ah, Koushi, told me we needed to get inside before the storm hit, so I didn’t get the chance. But there’s just so much to see! There’s this huge plateau behind us and a crater beyond that, and I’m so excited to explore.” _ Tooru’s hands ceased to wave around and fell back to his lap as his eyelids lowered and the smile softened.  _ “I wonder if they’d let me bring you back something. I forgot to ask. But wouldn’t that be one hell of a souvenir?” _

“Really, the potential bone density loss wasn’t enough for you?” Issei teased. Tooru stuck his tongue out and made a quiet sound, but he didn’t stop smiling. He just leaned closer and settled his chin in his hands, fingers curled up so that they framed his cheeks. Takahiro wanted to do nothing more than reach out and touch Tooru’s face. 

Hajime actually did, and his fingernails clicked against the screen as he traced the side of Tooru’s face, his expression achingly soft. “You’re such a dumbass,” he murmured. 

Tooru made a quiet noise, but he didn’t say anything. Just stared at Hajime for a long moment before his eyes flicked and he blinked again. He couldn’t stop the tear this time, but he didn’t wipe it away as it trickled out and traced a traitorous path down his cheek. Tooru sniffed.  _ “Hey,” _ he croaked,  _ “Just thirteen more months and then I’ll be back.” _

Takahiro wanted to cry.  _ That makes this twenty months. Twenty fucking months without Tooru. _ He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. His throat burned. Takahiro bit his lip and nodded. Issei did as well as his hand slipped behind Takahiro and settled on his back, firm and comforting. It was the only thing that tethered Takahiro. The only thing that held the tears off. 

“Great,” Issei drawled, “So I get thirteen more months without your farts in the bed. I guess Hiro and Hajime are gonna have to suffer my cold feet-” 

“Thankfully that doesn’t bother us,” Hajime smiled. 

Tooru sniffed and finally wiped his cheek with a nod.  _ “Good, you idiots. I’d hate to have to get Satori to harass you in my place.” _

Hajime groaned and rocked back in his chair. “That was the absolute worse friendship to every come out of all of this,” he groaned quietly. Tooru just giggled, all too pleased about the effect bringing up his former fellow classmate had on Hajime. They’d become fast friends while training for the Mars mission, enough that Tooru had even gotten onto cordial terms with Wakatoshi, Satori’s fiance. Medical conditions had forced Satori to back out, but their friendship had stayed fast - and it meant that he, Takahiro, and Issei could harass Hajime and Wakatoshi far more than the poor men probably deserved. 

Takahiro couldn’t manage much more than a strained smile at the thought of their friend though, and he nodded robotically.  _ Thirteen months. _ Thirteen long,  _ long _ months.  _ I miss you. _ He didn’t realize he’d choked it out until four hands settled on him, two on his back, one over his heart, and one on his thigh. He sniffled and leaned forward, the heels of his hands to his eyes, and tried to breathe, fought to hold back the tears. 

_ I love you. I miss you. I want you home. I want to hug you and kiss you. I want you. I  _ need _ you. _

He wanted Tooru like the others did, ached for him just like they did, and the guilt that had fluttered away returned, vicious as it slapped him across the face, punched him in the gut. Takahiro’s nails bit into his palms as he rose, eyes shining and lips wobbling. “Tooru, I love you so much. I’m tired, so I’m gonna sleep now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

Tooru blinked at him before he dipped his head.  _ “Sleep well, okay?” _

He jerked his head in a nod and stood on trembling legs. The hands on his back trailed down to his, but he shook their touch off. Somehow he managed to get out of the room and staggered down to their bedroom. All he could do was flop on the huge bed and curl up, shaking and sniffling as the tears finally broke out. It felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room as he clutched Tooru’s alien-themed pillow to his chest, heaving and trying to catch his breath as sobs punched them right back out. 

_ It doesn’t even smell like him anymore. _

That only made him cry harder as he buried his face into the pillow. Shame clawed it’s way through him, left him trembling as his blood ran cold through his veins.  _ It’s the first time you’ve seen him in months and all you could do was run away. What a fucking  _ dumbass _ , you should’ve stayed. Issei and Hajime aren’t crying. They aren’t running away. _

Takahiro wheezed and pressed his hand to his mouth. He gasped into it, fought for some sliver of self control as he scrunched his eyes tight.  _ I’m so stupid. So fucking stupid. I probably upset him. Maybe he’ll think I’m mad at him. Maybe he won’t want to see me. Maybe- _

“Hiro, baby,” Issei said softly as fingers settled into Takahiro’s bubblegum pink hair, “I’m here.” 

He managed to pull his head up from the pillow to blink at Issei for a moment before he sat up and held his arms out. Issei immediately moved forward and pulled him close, warm and solid. Takahiro’s face found his neck, his fingers dug into the thin fabric of his tank top. “I-” he croaked, but only a whine came out. 

“I know,” Issei whispered into his ear as his fingers worked soothing paths along Takahiro’s spine and across his scalp. “I know. It’s okay. You can cry. Nobody is mad. It’s okay.” Takahiro’s shoulders hitched and Issei squeezed him tighter. “Breathe in for me okay? Nice and deep, alright?” A jerky nod, and then he sucked a breath in. Shallow, but better. “Good. Now another okay? A little slower.” 

Takahiro nodded, and Issei painstakingly walked him through every breath until the shudders subsided and he managed to slump into his boyfriend’s arms. The digits pressed into the spaces between his vertebrae were comforting, warm and just heavy enough to remind he was safe and secure in those muscled arms. 

Better still when another set of hands brushed across his shoulders as the mattress behind him dipped and Hajime settled himself behind. “He went to sleep,” he said simply as he stroked Takahiro’s arms. 

Issei nodded against his face. Takahiro’s eyes closed once more. He tried hard to not tip back over the precipice into hyperventilation and instead focused on how Issei’s heartbeat felt against him, on the loose, looping paths Hajime traced into his skin. 

“We love you,” Hajime said softly after a moment. “He does too. He understands.” 

Takahiro jerked his head. “I’m sorry… I ruined it.” 

“No,” Issei said firmly, “You didn’t. I know you’ve been taking it hard.” 

“But you guys have been struggling too,” he protested. 

“Yes,” Hajime murmured as his fingers dug in a little before they moved on, a comforting squeeze, “But we know it’s hitting you harder now than it does for us because that happened in the beginning.” 

Takahiro nodded blankly. He remembered it clearly, the way Hajime had moped around their house for nearly a month, lost without his childhood friend turned lover there by his side. Issei too, abruptly down his favorite boyfriend for cuddles and consolation. But for Takahiro it hadn’t really sunk in until all the anxiety and tension had seemed in and nearly locked him into place with a terrifyingly tight grip. 

“So it’s okay to be like this,” Issei added. 

Takahiro’s fingers twitched against his chest. “I… okay.” He leaned back and sniffled quietly. 

Issei smiled, black eyes soft as he reached up and wiped the dampness from Takahiro’s cheeks. “It’ll be okay. It’s hard right now, but it’ll get easier. He’ll be home before you know it.” 

“Yeah…” he whispered. 

Hajime settled his chin over his shoulder, slid those thick arms around his waist. “We’re here for you. And you know he’ll harass us as much as he can until he gets back.” 

A giggle bubbled up and Takahiro nodded as he slowly sagged back into Hajime. “Okay.” They all smiled as grips and fingers tightened, and kissed were pressed to Takahiro’s neck, his cheeks. “I love you both so much,” he breathed into the quiet of their room. 

“We love you too,” they chorused. 

Takahiro smiled and wiped his own eyes before he shuffled back so he could face them both. A hand curled under each chin was all that he needed to coax them forward into soft kisses, salty and warm. Better than they had been in a while. 

_ Thirteen months. We can do this. _ He took their hands. _ There are hundreds of millions of kilometers between us, but he’s still here, right with us. In everything we are. _

And that thought stayed with Takahiro all through dinner, through their shower, and as he crawled into bed, comfortably sandwiched between his boyfriends. The emptiness in the bed made him ache, but not as much as it had, and he found that cool taste of relief on his tongue as he slowly drifted to the gentle pulse of heartbeats and rush of breath and to the quietness of his thoughts easier than he had for months.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading (￣▽￣)ノ These are gonna be individual works thanks to Day 6 jumpstarting an AU I've been holding off on. Leave a comment if you liked it and hit me up at [fairylights101writes](http://fairylights101writes.tumblr.com/)  
> Title was also nabbed from Falling In Reverse's "Coming Home"


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